I write this at what I hope is the end of a period of distractions from working on what I'm suppose to be doing this summer. The fluctuating weather stiffled my motivation to work on anything and I haven't been able to concentrate on much since returning from Kansas. Some days the only thing I can do is sit on the floor in front of a fan wearing next to nothing just trying to keep cool. On the days that the temperature finally is low enough to accomplish something, I find myself overwhelmed with everything that piled up during the week. Everything is dirty (it's amazing how messy things get around here when the fans are turned on non-stop), I have to go grocery shopping and try to cook as much as possible before the next heat wave comes, and the only thing I want to do is sleep. Just the same, I feel enormous pressure to make progress on Geraldine. Lately this pressure combined with heat exhaustion has left me feeling cantancorous and overwhelmed. I feel like a complete failure at least once a day, mostly because I haven't produced anything. Since when did production become measurement for academic achievement?
Although I haven't been able to keep up with a 4 hours a day/ 5 days a week dissertation work schedule, I have worked on it daily. For the last week and a half, my major accomplishment has been copying etymologies from 6 dictionaries. For the non-linguists, I'm copying the dictionary in languages that I don't speak. Most of the time, this menial task is interesting, but I find that I cringe everytime I have to write down something in Greek (and every dictionary entry I copy refers to Greek). I still have German, Latin, Greek, Indo-Germanic, and Russian dictionaries to go through. Because this task can be so dull, I distract myself with Netflix. I watched all 23 episodes of the first season of Ugly Betty in a week. Watching TV while copying the dictionary slows me down a lot, but it makes me feel better about myself. After all, copying the dictionary isn't exactly something to brag about. On occasion I run in to acquaintences who ask about my activities. Sometimes an "I'm writing my dissertation" suffices, but when these people want more details, I try not to admit that "I have to look for more data" means "I'm reading the dictionary for 4 hours a day every day."
Just as I finished the first season of Ugly Betty, the Olympics started. And there are hours and hours and hours of competition for more than 30 sports available at any given time. Ah... distractions...... Maybe if I just forced myself to spend a whole day locked in my office I would be done copying the dictionary already (it's air conditioned there!) but so far that hasn't happened.
Meanwhile, I'm also suppose to write a paper about Irish body part terms and how they have changed over time. Again, I think I'd rather watch the Olympics, but how does one go about explaining that to a publisher???
At the end of each day, I want to be able to look back and feel a sense of pride in my accomplishments as a dissertator. Instead, the only thing I feel is best described with UGH!!!!!! So far I haven't fallen victim to banging my head against the wall, but I don't think that's far away. Maybe I'll feel better in August.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
On Databases
Okay, so I totally failed at blog compositions this month. This failure generally corresponds to my feelings regarding progress on Geraldine this month as well. Until tonight, I felt like I had made no progress on my dissertation since driving 10 long hot hours back from Kansas without air conditioning. Rather then lament about my lack of achievement, I'll write about what I've really been up to for the last 3 weeks. As a side note, don't worry, there will be a post for Kansas Part 2. I just haven't written it yet.
Before I left for Kansas, I had wild fantasies of learning about databases and potential database programs. I thought that within two weeks, I would have uploaded my database into a new program, clicked a few buttons and viola! had a fancy schmancy database with which I could generate ooooooohs and aaaaaaaaaaahs from my dissertation committee. Much to my dismay, I discovered that I committed the number one mortal sin of database design: Thou shallt not enter more than one piece of information in a database field. This error in database design meant that I did not have a working new relational database before I left Kansas. *sigh*
Now that you have each read my public confession, know that I have spent the last three weeks serving database penance. Dividing my data into more cells has taken about 100 hours full of the computer commands: CNTRL = r, CNTRL+X, CNTRL+C and CNTRL+V. With the most menial tasks aside, I had to assign everything a numeric language code as well as a semantic code so that the new database program would recognize it. I finally finished this penance today and uploaded my data into one of the two new programs. To my surprise, this was lightening fast! Now all of my data is stored in a new program and the old program. AND it's backed up on an external hard drive. There was only a slight problem. The data doesn't show up in the second new program. I must have missed a step. Oh well, I'll figure it out another day.
Despite feeling like I have accomplished nothing during the last three weeks, the two committee members I've met with are pleased with my progress. They were happy to hear that I went to Kansas to fix my eye-sore of a database and are even more pleased that I will have a working program before I defend in the spring. My new fantasy is to have a working database in the new programs from which I can run queries and impressive reports so that it looks like I've actually done something before the semester starts in a month and a half. I hope this is a more practical fantasy. If not, I guess that's why I'm calling it a fantasy.
As I mentioned above, I had two meetings with members of my dissertation committee. The first meeting was a week ago with Indiana. He started the meeting by opening his office door for me and greeting me with my name. This is a common way for him to start meetings. Sometimes I wonder if he just doesn't know what to say, others I wonder if he's trying to remember who I am. How could he forget me? He said I'm the golden child of the department! Well, he called me Kelly not Kelsie but at least he made up for it by being complementary of my work during the rest of the meeting...
*Side Note: I'm not sure why people never get my name right, but the number of times that people have referred to me as Chelsea or Kelly when they meet me outnumbers those who get it right with Kelsie. On top of that, most people don`t pronounce my last name correctly when they meet me, and no one can spell either of them. I never correct people, I just wait for them to figure it out on their own. I think being in classes with 4 Kelseys and a Chelsea for three years of middle school made me impartial to correcting people.
...(now that the tangent is out of the way) Indi pulled out notes from my prospectus defense. It was much easier to listen to the information with a month and a half since the proposal defense. None of the comments were surprising this time and I had questions other than a blank stare. In short, Indi still thinks my work is good, he sees no problems with my timeline and he expects me to kick some serious ass with this Geraldine.
Since last week's meeting with Indi, I'm happy to announce that I have 5 HUGE Indo-European historical reference books. They make excellent weights for tricep workouts between linguistic geek-out sessions at the dining room table and on the living room floor.
On Monday, I met with Professor Jolly Green Giant. He was also complementary of my database work and cleared up a lot of issues I've had regarding definitions with the material he assigned me to read for the summer. Now I have a much better idea about the direction in which my dissertation is heading. *Phew!* Further, Prof. Jolly told me that the "incubation period" I've been in since my prospectus defense is completely normal and that I am managing my time well.
Now that this database drab is out of the way, maybe I'll finally get around to figuring out what it is exactly that I want to say with Geraldine. I plan to start writing by Mid-August. Here's to hoping that the next month is more interesting that July.
Before I left for Kansas, I had wild fantasies of learning about databases and potential database programs. I thought that within two weeks, I would have uploaded my database into a new program, clicked a few buttons and viola! had a fancy schmancy database with which I could generate ooooooohs and aaaaaaaaaaahs from my dissertation committee. Much to my dismay, I discovered that I committed the number one mortal sin of database design: Thou shallt not enter more than one piece of information in a database field. This error in database design meant that I did not have a working new relational database before I left Kansas. *sigh*
Now that you have each read my public confession, know that I have spent the last three weeks serving database penance. Dividing my data into more cells has taken about 100 hours full of the computer commands: CNTRL = r, CNTRL+X, CNTRL+C and CNTRL+V. With the most menial tasks aside, I had to assign everything a numeric language code as well as a semantic code so that the new database program would recognize it. I finally finished this penance today and uploaded my data into one of the two new programs. To my surprise, this was lightening fast! Now all of my data is stored in a new program and the old program. AND it's backed up on an external hard drive. There was only a slight problem. The data doesn't show up in the second new program. I must have missed a step. Oh well, I'll figure it out another day.
Despite feeling like I have accomplished nothing during the last three weeks, the two committee members I've met with are pleased with my progress. They were happy to hear that I went to Kansas to fix my eye-sore of a database and are even more pleased that I will have a working program before I defend in the spring. My new fantasy is to have a working database in the new programs from which I can run queries and impressive reports so that it looks like I've actually done something before the semester starts in a month and a half. I hope this is a more practical fantasy. If not, I guess that's why I'm calling it a fantasy.
As I mentioned above, I had two meetings with members of my dissertation committee. The first meeting was a week ago with Indiana. He started the meeting by opening his office door for me and greeting me with my name. This is a common way for him to start meetings. Sometimes I wonder if he just doesn't know what to say, others I wonder if he's trying to remember who I am. How could he forget me? He said I'm the golden child of the department! Well, he called me Kelly not Kelsie but at least he made up for it by being complementary of my work during the rest of the meeting...
*Side Note: I'm not sure why people never get my name right, but the number of times that people have referred to me as Chelsea or Kelly when they meet me outnumbers those who get it right with Kelsie. On top of that, most people don`t pronounce my last name correctly when they meet me, and no one can spell either of them. I never correct people, I just wait for them to figure it out on their own. I think being in classes with 4 Kelseys and a Chelsea for three years of middle school made me impartial to correcting people.
...(now that the tangent is out of the way) Indi pulled out notes from my prospectus defense. It was much easier to listen to the information with a month and a half since the proposal defense. None of the comments were surprising this time and I had questions other than a blank stare. In short, Indi still thinks my work is good, he sees no problems with my timeline and he expects me to kick some serious ass with this Geraldine.
Since last week's meeting with Indi, I'm happy to announce that I have 5 HUGE Indo-European historical reference books. They make excellent weights for tricep workouts between linguistic geek-out sessions at the dining room table and on the living room floor.
On Monday, I met with Professor Jolly Green Giant. He was also complementary of my database work and cleared up a lot of issues I've had regarding definitions with the material he assigned me to read for the summer. Now I have a much better idea about the direction in which my dissertation is heading. *Phew!* Further, Prof. Jolly told me that the "incubation period" I've been in since my prospectus defense is completely normal and that I am managing my time well.
Now that this database drab is out of the way, maybe I'll finally get around to figuring out what it is exactly that I want to say with Geraldine. I plan to start writing by Mid-August. Here's to hoping that the next month is more interesting that July.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
On Kansas, Part 1
Most of you reading this know that I was in Kansas for two weeks. My decision to go to Kansas was last minute (for a Kelsie trip at least) and a good investment. After I won the library fellowship, it became clear that I needed to research relational database programs, select a program and receive training. As I looked at my options, I couldn't figure out which program would be good for linguistic research. Demo videos included tasks for average businesses: sorting by address, quantity, and the like. I felt overwhelmed with options and a general lack of knowledge concerning what exactly relational databases do. I also didn't think that I'd be creative enough to transfer database designs from a general business template into my Geraldine research. Rather than hang my head in shame, I decided to go to Kansas for a linguistics institute which offered two workshops on database design.
My first dilemma in going to Kansas was deciding how to get there. There used to be a direct flight from my locale to Kansas, but it seems that the airline that offered this flight pattern no longer offers it. Tickets were expensive so I figured I would take the train. The train tickets were sold out. Sold out?! People actually take the train in this country? How can seats be sold out... and to Kansas?! They were, so that option was out. I decided to drive instead.
It is roughly a 10-hour drive from my house to Kansas. The air conditioning in my car, Papa Smurf, is broken and Kansas is hot. Likewise, Papa Smurf has a radio and no other form of music player. At first I thought I'd try to catch a ride with other friends driving to Kansas (note: these people were linguists attending the same institute, I don't know copious amounts of people who go to Kansas for a summer vacation). This would have worked out, but my friends were leaving on Wednesday and I didn't want to find housing for 4 extra days, or spend 3 weeks away from Hubby. So I drove... alone... on a Sunday... through hours of corn fields... there was nothing on the radio except bad country music and people reading passages from the Bible...and finally made it to Kansas.
Many people are aware of my snake phobia, but I have another phobia that dates back to 6th grade: corn fields. More specifically, corn fields in Nebraska. In 6th grade I invited myself to a birthday party sleepover. All of the cool kids were attending this party but I wasn't invited. So what did I do? I called the birthday girl, asked her about her weekend plans and lamented over having no plans for myself until she finally told me that I could invite myself over to her party. So I did. It was a fun party full of boys, truth or dare and horror movies. We watched Children of the Corn but I fell asleep. Thankfully, no one froze my underwear that night, but I did wonder how the movie ended. AND my friends made fun of me. So what did I do? I begged my dad to rent the movie for me so I could watch it and not feel left out. And he did! And I've been afraid of corn fields, Dairy Queens on Sundays, towns where everyone attends the same morning church service and Nebraska ever since. No one is sacrificing me to a corn field demon. To make sure that this never happens, I avoid corn fields. I was able to avoid driving through Nebraska on my way to Kansas, but not corn fields. Of the 10-hour drive, at least 6 hours consisted of nothing but corn fields for a view. Combined with the scripture reading on the radio AND it being a Sunday, I tried not to stop. I thoughtfully packed a cooler full of cold beverages and food for my journey before I left and stopped after about 5 hours to use the bathroom when there weren't any corn fields. I left the bathroom proud of myself for avoiding the corn fields. And what did I find? A 2-foot long snake skin next to the bathroom door. I ran back to Papa Smurf and didn't exit again until Kansas.
Unlike the terror-filled journey there, Kansas turned out to be a fun place to spend two weeks. No wonder the train tickets there were sold out. Geraldine ended up being a super popular topic of conversation at the institute and I learned about databases. It seems that Geraldine will be even bigger and better than planned with a new database, but building it will take a while. Lucky for me, it's hot where I live and my office is air conditioned (whereas my house is not). Perhaps the next 50-hour of pressing the 'enter' button on my keyboard will be more tolerable than originally planned.
My first dilemma in going to Kansas was deciding how to get there. There used to be a direct flight from my locale to Kansas, but it seems that the airline that offered this flight pattern no longer offers it. Tickets were expensive so I figured I would take the train. The train tickets were sold out. Sold out?! People actually take the train in this country? How can seats be sold out... and to Kansas?! They were, so that option was out. I decided to drive instead.
It is roughly a 10-hour drive from my house to Kansas. The air conditioning in my car, Papa Smurf, is broken and Kansas is hot. Likewise, Papa Smurf has a radio and no other form of music player. At first I thought I'd try to catch a ride with other friends driving to Kansas (note: these people were linguists attending the same institute, I don't know copious amounts of people who go to Kansas for a summer vacation). This would have worked out, but my friends were leaving on Wednesday and I didn't want to find housing for 4 extra days, or spend 3 weeks away from Hubby. So I drove... alone... on a Sunday... through hours of corn fields... there was nothing on the radio except bad country music and people reading passages from the Bible...and finally made it to Kansas.
Many people are aware of my snake phobia, but I have another phobia that dates back to 6th grade: corn fields. More specifically, corn fields in Nebraska. In 6th grade I invited myself to a birthday party sleepover. All of the cool kids were attending this party but I wasn't invited. So what did I do? I called the birthday girl, asked her about her weekend plans and lamented over having no plans for myself until she finally told me that I could invite myself over to her party. So I did. It was a fun party full of boys, truth or dare and horror movies. We watched Children of the Corn but I fell asleep. Thankfully, no one froze my underwear that night, but I did wonder how the movie ended. AND my friends made fun of me. So what did I do? I begged my dad to rent the movie for me so I could watch it and not feel left out. And he did! And I've been afraid of corn fields, Dairy Queens on Sundays, towns where everyone attends the same morning church service and Nebraska ever since. No one is sacrificing me to a corn field demon. To make sure that this never happens, I avoid corn fields. I was able to avoid driving through Nebraska on my way to Kansas, but not corn fields. Of the 10-hour drive, at least 6 hours consisted of nothing but corn fields for a view. Combined with the scripture reading on the radio AND it being a Sunday, I tried not to stop. I thoughtfully packed a cooler full of cold beverages and food for my journey before I left and stopped after about 5 hours to use the bathroom when there weren't any corn fields. I left the bathroom proud of myself for avoiding the corn fields. And what did I find? A 2-foot long snake skin next to the bathroom door. I ran back to Papa Smurf and didn't exit again until Kansas.
Unlike the terror-filled journey there, Kansas turned out to be a fun place to spend two weeks. No wonder the train tickets there were sold out. Geraldine ended up being a super popular topic of conversation at the institute and I learned about databases. It seems that Geraldine will be even bigger and better than planned with a new database, but building it will take a while. Lucky for me, it's hot where I live and my office is air conditioned (whereas my house is not). Perhaps the next 50-hour of pressing the 'enter' button on my keyboard will be more tolerable than originally planned.
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