I successfully defended Geraldine a month ago and it’s time
to finally describing the experience in writing. Leading up to the defense I
felt overwhelmed. My two main concerns were the logistics of making my
committee comfortable during the defense and, of course, trying to remember
what I researched. I felt that both of these points should not have concerned
me. After all, my committee members could take care of themselves and I spent
two years conducting and writing the research, therefore remembering it shouldn’t
be that difficult. Nevertheless, I also spent every year of my doctoral program
buttering up my committee members and department by cooking and baking for nearly
every seminar, colloquium und party. I knew that they anticipated me doing
something special, but I didn’t have time to do much. In the end I made muffins
and brought juice. I wanted to bring coffee and a hundred other things, but it
just didn’t work out and no one seemed to care. My advice for future candidates
is to get someone else to take care of the food and drinks if you want them at
your defense.
As for my other main concern, in the last round of revisions
leading up to the defense, I changed the names of three of the four patterns I
was discussing, reworded my hypothesis and added a bunch of definitions for
further clarification. I couldn’t remember any of my changes and every time I
tried to give a brief overview of the whole dissertation (aloud, when no one
was listening except maybe the baby), I tripped over my words and didn’t feel
prepared. In the end, I wrote out everything I wanted to say, made a PowerPoint
presentation of the main points, and wrote down anticipated committee member
questions with answers for a cheat sheet (as my committee chair advised me to).
The morning of the defense my son wouldn’t fall asleep
before I had to leave. He was crying as I walked out the door, which made me
cry. I think I cried most of the 20-minute drive to campus and worried about
him eating, sleeping and hoping my husband would have a positive 3 hours alone with
the baby so that I’d be able to leave again sometime in the future.
I was the first one to arrive to my defense. As I turned on
the computer, my committee members started entering the room. Then a few
friends entered. Then a few other professors, not on my committee, entered the
room, one after the other, after the other. Soon I realized that nearly every
professor in the department was sitting in the conference room. The only ones
missing were teaching or on leave. I felt very intimidated by this and wondered
what sort of questions they would ask and how they would be critical of my
work.
Then it was time to start. I had to give an overview of my
work. I thought they wanted a 2-5 minute presentation, but 20 minutes later (I
think I read my notes verbatim the entire time), it seemed that I had given
enough of an overview to appease those present at the defense and the questions
started.
The questions were much simpler than I anticipated. I
started to relax and enjoy the process. I realized I usually had an answer without
having to search for one and when I didn’t, another committee member would join
in and I didn’t have to say much. The non-committee members present also asked
questions and eventually, I was asked to step out of the room. While waiting I
talked to other professors and friends and within a few minutes, a committee
member walked out of the room, said “Dr. Kelsie, come back in.” What a relief.
I walked back in and was met with handshakes and hugs from
committee members. I even received a gift. They then gave me lists of all the
words I either mispronounced or that stuck out due to coming from the West
Coast and left. During the debriefing with my committee chair, I received a
list of minor changes to make before submitting a copy to the grad school, was verbally
offered three courses for the fall, took a picture, and then it was all over. I
think I received a congratulatory handshake from each professor in my
department that day. I then realized they all came to support me and because
they thought I had an interesting research topic, not because they wanted to
give me a hard time. Once I figured that out, I felt great.
I officially graduated 9 days ago. After wearing my doctoral
regalia around the house for a week, I officially received my academic hood on
a Sunday morning. Since finishing my paperwork for the graduate school and
uploading the final copy of Geraldine, I’ve been able to relax and reflect. The
Road to Dr. Kelsie ended and I haven’t decided on my next journey. I have
linguistics on my mind non-stop and have been enjoying reading the books that weren’t
related to my doctoral research but still accumulated in my office these past 4
years. I plan to start turning Geraldine into journal articles this summer and
am enjoying the freedom I feel to research and read. I still change the country
I plan to live in next at least once a week, but have yet to renew my expired passport.
