Update for the week

So I haven't written anything for over a week. I'd like to write that I have accomplished a lot in that time and that I'm feeling really good about my progress, but I haven't and I don't. But what does that mean?

I certainly have been keeping myself busy. I attended three workshops this week: two on grant writing and one on CV development. I went to the library at least 4 times to check out more books. I read a lot and I developed general outlines for 4 of Geraldine's chapters (and no, those were not the intro, background, methods and conclusion!). I finished revising my abstract and resubmitted it to a conference, helped organize this week's department colloquium which was a huge success, and did a lot of work for my online courses. I also met with Indiana Jones, who told me that he is pleased with my work, I am right on schedule, he has no concerns about my progress and that I'll probably become a doctor next spring. Side note: if you have read any of my other posts about my committee chair is more compliments in one afternoon than he has given me in the 4.5 years I've worked with him... this must be because I showed up to his office hours five minutes after he found out he is being promoted to full professor (the academic equivallence of having all of you checker pieces "kinged"). I also contacted the researcher  whose work has been the most influential in my decisions regarding Geraldine, and he wrote back (I didn't know if he was still alive or had access to a computer).

So why do I feel like I've accomplished so little? That sounds like a lot! I guess it's because every time I read something, I find out about 5 more things that I need to read. I made big strides this week in finding new search terms and references, but it means that the majority of the work I have collected so far isn't going to be that relevant to Geraldine after all. I keep looking at the pile of books and articles I've accumulated and wonder how and when I will ever finish reading them. I hoped to have my annotated bibliography completed two weeks ago, but I've hardly made a dent in my mountain of literature. On Sunday I counted the number of articles I had left to read and decided that if I read 5 a day, I could be done in 3 weeks. I've tried to keep up, but I just can't. I want to defend my prospectus this term, but I don't know if I'll be able to do it.

Someone please tell me that this is the hardest part about writing a dissertation! Over the summer, Indiana told me that the hardest part about writing a dissertation is deciding on the topic. That was a big struggle, but now that I've decided, I keep feeling like I'm not making enough progress. It really shouldn't be that difficult to read 5, or even 3 articles a day, but life keeps getting in the way. AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND MY MAGIC WATCH SINCE I TOOK IT OFF TO SLEEP ON TUESDAY! Ugh. I enjoy what I'm doing, but some days, even the smallest goals seem unobtainable.