More difficult decisions

Today brought another handful of opportunities. I have to remind myself that each of these are opportunities, not just tough decisions. I have funding, a job, a place to live and Geraldine. With this perspective, everything else is just a detail, but why are these details so darn pesky?!

First, the desperate student. After heavy consideration, I decided not to give any extensions. I know that I am perfectly justified in my decision, but I feel like a jerk. The empathetic side of me asks what I would want my instructors to do for me if I were in the student's situation. The practical side of me reminds me that I would have dropped the course immediately and not turned it in to my instructor's problem. In the end, I am mean, my department supports my decision and I have more time to work on Geraldine. Time to move on (until I open my e-mail tomorrow and have another 5-page e-mail about how difficult life is and have to remind myself that I made the right choice).

Next, summer funding. I was suppose to hear about my summer funding by April 30th. Yesterday I received an e-mail that asked me if I am still interested in attending classes. Then it kind of said that I am on a waiting list. It was very strange. I like direct e-mails. It is easy to write "You have funding" or "We regret to inform you that you do not have funding." Even writing "We regret to inform you that you do not have funding, but you are on a waiting list." Instead, I keep getting something more like "um, we still haven't been able to work it out, but we did make up our minds. We'll write again, sometime soon, we hope, to let you know what we decided." Gee... thanks...

And now, another opportunity! If you don't know already, I am a linguist. Within linguistics, I specialize in something called typology. Geraldine is a  big fat typology project. When someone wants to become an astronaut, he needs to get a job at NASA. It's possible to go into space without working at NASA, but working there as an astronaut increases the odds. Linguistic typology has its own research center of the universe. It's called the Max Planck Institute of Evolutionary Anthropology (MPI-EVA for short). Last spring, I applied to work there as a doctoral student and was rejected. Today, my former professor who resembles Buzz Lightyear forwarded a position announcement to me. The position is for 3 years, at MPI-EVA and is closely related to my work on Geraldine. The deadline has been extended, which means there weren't enough applicants and I have much better odds than I did last spring. Buzz has told me that I would be an idiot not to apply. He is probably right and I should probably apply. But thinking about applying leads to 1,000 other thoughts. Here are a few factors to consider: 1) the position starts as early as next month, 2) MPI-EVA is in Germany, 3) the position requires 20 hours of work a week.

Some of my thoughts:
Wow, do I really qualify for this?
Yes, and you should apply.
But what about Geraldine?
Uh, you work on Geraldine and the other project, then publish like crazy and become extremely successful.
Oh crap, next month?
You can start later if they give you a position. Apply first, idiot.
Wow, hubby could totally study in Leipzig and that solves a lot of problems.
If I have kids in the next 3 years, I wouldn't have to worry about how they would become bilingual.
Kids?!? Finish Geraldine. She is your first child. She just calls you 'doctor' instead of 'mom'. If there are other children, they will just have to call you 'doctor mom.'
German jobs come with 4-weeks paid vacation.
3 years away from here? That's a long time. But I guess I have to start applying for jobs anyways and there aren't going to be any here. Get used to it.
But I like my job and life right now. Why would I think about moving back to Germany?
If you get a job there, you can get a job anywhere after that, including Greenland. Time to become the Armstrong of linguistics.
4-weeks paid vacation means I can come home (and get paid).
Well, you wanted to start speaking German more at home.
How do I explain this idea to anyone?
It would be a pain to explain to the German embassy why I have different names on my different IDs.
Where are my release papers from the German police department so that I can live in Germany again (note: everyone gets these papers when they move away from Germany, I didn't do anything to be on the German police radar)
Hubby claims to know nothing about his German police release papers. Would that be a problem?
Didn't you forget about something, like applying???
Hmmm, I guess I better come up with a research statement.
Do I ask Buzz or Indiana for a letter of recommendation?
Indiana is my adviser, it should come from him. Buzz is more well known and already has a letter ready for you, plus he told you to apply, so he would write one.
Does this mean I would need to sell my car? Do I have to sell everything?
Hubby is going to think I am crazy.
Everyone is going to think I am crazy.
I am crazy, what else is new?
Well, why not? Isn't this how being an academic goes? You apply for everything and hope that you get something.

So, here goes. It's like jumping in the deep end. Again, it's an opportunity, not a problem. They probably aren't interested in my anyways.